Vaccination Epiphany

I have been reading a book about childhood vaccinations. The amount of information that is held back from parents is astonishing. I have changed my entire outlook on vaccinations.

After seeing how much a small amount of artificial colour or flavour (gumball from machine) can do to my son, I am sickened to think of the amount of toxic chemicals I let the "medical establishment" inject into both my children when they were only months old.

I remember when my son was about five months old (and shortly after he had his 4 month vaccinations), he suddenly stopped going to sleep easily in his crib or bassinet. What followed was years of having to sleep with my son, lie down with him at night, get up with him through the night, etc. I wonder now if it was the vaccine that caused it.

The author of the book I'm reading accurately points out that we are injecting our children with massive amounts of toxins as well as a virus or five when their immune systems are only 2, 4, and 6 months old! What was I thinking? I did it with both my children!

Now I am pregnant with my third and my experiences with a medical establishment I've grown to distrust completely, prompted me to research vaccines. I don't give my kids anything anymore without researching it thoroughly.

The author also shows studies that demonstrate a clear correlation with a sudden and huge increase in learning disabilities, children with various disorders on the autism spectrum, and autoimmune diseases with the advent of more and more new vaccines.

Can you imagine if the government and the medical establishment admitted to the mass harm of children through mandatory vaccinations? It will never happen in my lifetime. Maybe when most of the people who pushed it through are dead and they can blame it on the ignorance of our ancestors.

In the meantime, due to overwhelming evidence, they had to allow parents the choice of whether to vaccinate or not. (And I will vaccinate, just not in the first year and then it will depend on the vaccination being offered - whether the illness is deadly if contracted, what the odds are of my child contracting that virus, whether the vaccine contains mercury or other identified toxic material that has been scientifically proven to harm the human body, whether the vaccine has been reported to increase the likelihood of a child developing autoimmune disorders, and so on.)

You know how they say "the personal is political"? Well, this is one of those times. Vaccine manufacturers are in the pockets of the politicians and the decision-makers. Mandatory or mass promotion of mass vaccinations makes them A LOT OF MONEY. More than most of us can ever imagine. Poisoning our children is big business. They are poisoned using vaccines, food additives, pesticides and more.

And we just blindly believe in our government to protect us. We blindly believe in the medical establishment to cure us. We blindly believe that it is a good thing to inject massive amounts of toxins and viruses into newborn babies - because we've been told to do it by those we blindly believe in.

Well, I'm not blind anymore.

And if you can believe this one. I had an even more profound epiphany as I read the section in the book about the Hepatitis B vaccination.

You see, shortly before I became disabled by chronic illness, I had two rounds of the combined Hep A and B vaccination. It was in preparation for my upcoming honeymoon. We didn't end up going on a tropical vacation, but I really wanted to, so I got prepared hoping that that was what we would do. (It was also a recommended vaccine to get in my line of work doing support in a transition house for women with substance abuse issues.)

Shortly after the first shot, I started to get chronic diarrhea that lasted about 5 or 6 weeks leading up to my wedding. I asked my doctor if it could be a side effect of the vaccine and he assured me that it definitely could not. (At that time I was still "blind" so I accepted his response and didn't think of it again.)

He didn't find any problems with my stool sample, so he called it "irritable bowel syndrome" and sent me on my way. I continued to have stomach problems all through the following weeks and into my honeymoon.

Within two weeks of my wedding, I became so ill, I could not function. Doctors couldn't figure out what was causing my heart-racing, dizziness, and fainting.

Well guess what. Hepatitis B has been associated with causing an autoimmune response where the body starts attacking itself. Gluten intolerance can also become an autoimmune disorder. They say it is usually an illness or shock that will trigger autoimmune disorders. In my case, I have no doubt now that it was the vaccination that caused me to become disabled.

You see, it's been shown that people with compromised immune systems should not get the Hep B vaccination. I didn't know it at the time, but I had been suffering with an inability to tolerate gluten my whole life. My immune system was working at full tilt just to deal with the foods I ate every day. Getting that shot fucked everything up! My immune system could not handle it!

I am torn on how I feel about it now. It was an excruciating year and a half that leaves me traumatized. I would never wish it on anyone. But so much good has come of it.

If I had not gotten the Hep B shot, I may have gone on for another decade or more being bloated and tired and burnt out and thinking this is how every one feels. I wouldn't have found the gluten intolerance issue. I wouldn't be eating so healthy now. I wouldn't have known to look for a food cause for my son's behavior problems (which also led to a solution). I would have gone on blindly believing in the medical establishment - exposing my children to harmful chemicals.

So much good has come of me getting sick. As the full picture begins to emerge - and this new understanding of why my illness took such a sudden and drastic turn for the worse - I actually feel a little less traumatized.

I could look back at my ignorance of the harms and the secrets that are being hidden by the government and the medical establishment about vaccinations and be angry at them. I could be angry at how they stole a year and a half of my life. I could be outraged that many organizations like the one I work for now actually REQUIRE Hep A and B vaccinations to work there. I could cry with relief to now know how this all happened to me.

But I do none of these things.

Instead I feel grateful. It was a year and a half of pure hell. But the benefits to myself and my children now are immeasurable and they will impact us for the rest of our lives. I now think it may have been worth the sacrifice.

The Warm Zone, Drop In for Women, Abbotsford BC

As I ascended the stairs into "The Warm Zone," I immediately began to feel relaxed and at home. It is a drop-in centre for women and every room is open. The women who access the centre walk around like they own it. Making themselves coffee in the kitchen, stepping out onto the patio for a smoke. You probably aren't surprised when I say the place is spotless.

The best room in the place is the meeting room. A long table surrounded by chairs fills it. You can see every person in the room and fit about 15 comfortably. I held a focus group there for a project I'm working on and I met some of the most incredible women. They were like family. It made me want to move to smaller community.

I would say that "The Warm Zone" is the most comfortable, welcoming, friendly drop-in centre I have ever been to. The women who run the program are down-to-earth, committed to their work, and clearly they are spectacular support workers. I was reluctant to leave when the session was over. It's a place I hope to visit again. xo

Why Pregnancy is Better When You're Single

I've experienced pregnancy with two different partners and I've spent the last seven months pregnant and single. So I have had three experiences of pregnancy. And I can tell you in all honesty, that being pregnant and single has been the best experience of the three by far. Let me tell you why...

1. One less person to clean up after. During the first and third trimesters, we are often very tired. Having less laundry and less dishes is a godsend. You also don't feel any resentment because you're not cleaning up after another grown adult.
2. If you are feeling too tired to do the housework - no problem! There is no one there to ask you what you've been doing all day or why the kitchen is a mess. So you can put it off until you have more energy and not feel bad about it.
   
3. Less stress. We are inundated by professionals and loved ones telling us that stress is bad for a pregnancy. Well, if there's no one there to argue with, there is a lot less stress. I choose the temperature in my house. I choose the channel on my TV. I make all the little decisions and don't have to defend my decisions to anyone so I have less stress being single and pregnant than I did in my other pregnancies.
4. You don't have to watch another person do all the things you cannot do because you're pregnant. For instance, no one is drinking beer in front of you on a regular basis or going out to parties you're too tired to attend. (There is the side benefit of not having to *smell* a person who is drinking beer and going to parties, as the pregnancy nose is very sensitive and offended easily.)
5. Need to fart but worried it will smell like rotten eggs as pregnancy farts often do? No worries! Fart away! There is no one there that you need to save from the flatulence that is out of your control. Well, maybe your kids. But you changed their diapers, so they can just deal with it.
   
6. Hello pillows! You have the whole bed to yourself! Sleeping during pregnancy is difficult at the best of times. But if you're single, you can pile up pillows for every body part making what sleep you do get as comfortable as possible. You also will not have your insomnia worsened by a snoring partner (with beer breath - even worse!). And you do not have to worry about weird noises you make due to the baby putting pressure on your diaphragm keeping your partner awake either.
7. Sex during pregnancy can be uncomfortable and less enjoyable than un-pregnant sex. But self-obtained orgasms aren't uncomfortable at all! Since your sex drive is high, being single when pregnant is ideal because you can masturbate more often (due to your increased privacy) and you don't have to have sex with your massive, uncooperative pregnant body. So break out the vibrator! You deserve it!
   
8. No dream guilt. You know all those hot dreams about a variety of men that you have when you're pregnant? Why do they often involve your partner's friends or your ex-lovers? Or your partner's friends' ex-lovers? Well, no need to feel guilty about it if you're single. You can dream about anyone your subconscious desires and use it later for fantasy masturbation material.
9. No one to witness your emotional outbursts. Your pregnancy can be truly smooth and wonderful, but you will not escape the occasional irrational, emotional outburst. Fluctuating hormones are to blame, but it's still embarrassing when it happens. However, if you're single, the only ones who see your outbursts are your kids. Tell them it's just because you're pregnant and they write it off happily. Kids also have uncontrollable emotional outbursts due to their emotional immaturity. So they can relate and don't hold it against you.
   
10. And last but not least - when you're single, you can send the kids to their dad's on the weekends! When you're in a relationship, there is no "night alone" or "time to yourself" during pregnancy. Even if you do manage to send the kids off to a family member or friend for the weekend, you still have to be with your partner. Having nights or weekends to myself has been a wonderful perk of separating from my children's dads. I am able to recoup, rest up, and be a better mother when they come home to me. This is a luxury I never had while living with the fathers of my children.

So there you have it. Pregnancy is better when you're single. I would say the only disadvantage to being pregnant and single is financial, as it's difficult to work and care for a brood of children all on your own at the best of times. Getting a job is even more difficult pregnant. And social assistance does not cover the expenses of taking care of a family.

I am fortunate because I have work until the baby is here, and I'm getting into subsidized housing so my rent will be manageable very soon.

Life couldn't be better!